September 2007
“Girls I need to talk to you”
“Okay dad”
“Your mom has been diagnosed with a carcinoma ”
“Ooh, cool! Is that like a superpower?”
“No, she is very sick, but will fight”
“Okay, can we go outside now?”
October 2007
My mom told me she would be losing her hair.
She was going to shave it off on Rosh Hashanah,
It means head of the year,
the Jewish new year.
My beautiful mother,
She is fighting for her life.
January 2010
Mom, do you have cancer?”
She looks startled,
I just figured out the secret.
“Yes, honey I do”
“Will you die?”
“I will do everything in my power not to”
November 2011
My mom just had major surgery.
The surgery was a success.
Her lifelong dream was to see giraffes.
For her birthday we are surprising her,
We are going to see giraffes.
August 31, 2012
Today is my 10th birthday
It is the last birthday I will have with her
She got me rollerblades and a card.
It’s a smiling ostrich
November 2012
I get a text
my mom has been admitted into the ICU
They need to operate immediately
She doesn’t know when she will be home.
The surgery is a failure,
She will never eat again.
December 19, 2012
She is still in the ICU
Today is her birthday,
she is turning 56
I write her a letter.
I don’t think she will remember it,
but it starts with
“you are the best person I have ever known,
Please keep fighting, I can’t lose you yet.”
January 2013
My mom is home again.
She is still dying, but maybe there is hope, right?
No.
The doctors sent her home to die.
24/7 nurse care, watching my mom be fed with IVs and tubes,
I don’t care, I can’t lose her.
I won’t.
I cry myself to sleep each night
She is still the light in my life,
she is still fighting,
for the 10-year-old daughters, she will never see graduate,
get a job,
live their lives.
I hope what she has is enough.
I hope she is proud.
February 25, 2013
6:00 pm a call comes.
Nobody will tell me what’s going on.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
She couldn’t have died yet… right?
The last thing I say as I walked out of the room is
“I love you, and I hope I see you again.”
What if I never see her again?
My dad walks in
He can’t be here.
If he’s here it means my world is ending.
“Girls, your mother passed away”
I let out a heart clenching scream that shakes the walls.
She’s gone and there is nothing I can do.
I fall asleep that night with tears running down my cheeks.
I am 10 years old and I just lost my mother
The one person who is supposed to be there for me.
My mother lived,
The first year,
The second year,
The third year,
The fourth year,
The fifth-year she died.
She is the best person I will ever know,
She was strong, beautiful, intelligent, and kind
She taught me how to be better in everything I do,
to love, and hope no matter how difficult.
I love her and always will.
Rolling hills, filled with green
Water rolling in on the shore,
Sunlight reflecting a golden sheen,
Climbing to the top, making me sore
One day lapsed
Only 7 more to go
Exhausting heat, I almost collapsed
How much more can I take? I don’t know
The third leg of the journey is underway,
Slightly late, overslept
Headed west all day,
Towards the sea we crept
Got lost, not surprised
Started to dim, we could see
A never ending night,
On our way to Killarney
Swish swish swish.
The sounds of skis pierce the absolute silence of the forest
It is the crack of dawn, he is the only human on the mountain
Swish swish swish.
He is picking up speed, carving around the trees with haste
The animals watch him blaze by, the crisp morning air coming out of him
Swish swish swish.
The powder makes way for the titan coming through
His legs are tiring, his breath is hastening
Swish swish swish.
There was a storm last night, the leftover snow still falling, the wind howling
A tree is down, concealed by the vegetation of the mountain
Swish swish swish.
The man is approaching the fallen feat of nature, still unaware
He is finally enjoying himself, in complete harmony with his skis
Swish swish swish.
His final moments are going by, yet he is completely unaware
He ducks under a bush and sees it, but cannot stop himself in time
Swish swish-
A loud thud, then the trail runs red
The falling snow begins to cover him, no one will ever know
A cat is how I perceive myself
I socialize with my friends
And exchange news and insights
I hear the rhythmic pounding of
The basketball dribbling back and forth
On the glossed hardwood of the court
I enjoy school and my studies
Yet I also enjoy relaxing
In my room or on the couch
I enjoy savoring the few
Peaceful and solitary moments in my day
With only my thoughts to accompany me
As the clamor of the outside world subsides
And a serene and tranquil feeling surrounds me.
As I settle into restful sleep
Goodbye sweet football,
Oh how you’ll be missed,
The Friday night lights,
And the knockout hits,
Title: Yearning for a Football Autumn
It’s hard to project my feelings on the finishing of the fall,
One part of me is happy to be free,
But the other is not at all,
I have to come to terms that my favorite sport is over,
A longing feeling sinks to my shoulders,
I should be happy for it,
I can spend time with friends,
But here comes the thought, time and time again,
There will be no more jokes cracked at the team dinner table,
For those were the last days we were actually enabled,
To suit up after school and go to work,
With a sense of great pride, even though it may have hurt,
And some days we would question if it was worth,
The hours and the effort we put in with no immediate return,
Yet, on fridays that all changed,
We were silent and collected,
The stands were roaring, fan’s voices projected,
We would run out ready to try for a win,
Because we know we’d never all play together again
At the entrance you enter a new and unexpected place
than what you were just on for hours
From miles upon miles of flat empty grasslands
To a world of tall trees and dirt roads.
Dirt road leads you to a beach
White fluffy sand
Kids and adults playing soccer
While listening to music on speakers
Ice cream and churro vendors attract
The attention of hundreds
At your house in Carilo
The scent of asados radiate into the night sky
Laughter fills the table for hours
Where stories are told
And never forgotten
At your house in Carilo
the scent of asados radiate
into the night sky.
Laughter fills the table
for hours where stories
are told and never
forgotten
Promise… anticipation
driving down the windy roads
somewhere…
deep in New Hampshire.
The town of Wolfeboro,
surrounded by
alluring
Lake Winnipesaukee.
At last,
The dirt spits up from the back
As we make the journey down,
the everlasting dirt road.
To the home,
that I have been counting down the days
to return to.
To the home,
where I can leave all my worries behind…
It’s like a scene
out of a movie
standing there,
with bags in hand
holding a blatant
gaze.
Admiring
how it is possible
that one place can
fill my heart so endlessly
Sitting at the waterfront
seeing splashes
and smiles emerging
from little campers faces.
Joy
and family
memories
that will never be forgotten.