You know that feeling
When you find a perfect pair
That end up dispossessing
Functional pockets?
And even if it did have pockets,
They were so insubstantial
That you couldn’t fit
Half your hand into those channels.
As for the back handles,
Which can never hold a smartphone
Without it falling into purgatory.
They must get a kick from my misery.
I get it.
They have to be nonexistent
In order to be visually appealing
But guys have humongous pouches,
So why can’t we?