It has been a year but I’ll never forget,
what happened was a vivid blur
and I am still trying to make sense of it all,
interpreting and reinterpreting it again.
It was the shock, I was in shock –
I remember your eyes, they were ashamed,
looking down at the floor while our friends looked concerned
and I was smiling nervously,
or maybe obliviously,
and when you broke the news, I…
can only remember what happened after.
Our friends went outside to say goodbye to you
as the blinding sun shone through the window like nothing happened
while I was still in that room,
wrapped up in self-loathing,
tortured by the unfairness,
and strangled by invisible iron chains.
I am still there, watching as time walks ahead of me,
and watching you walk ahead of me,
and I am still interpreting and reinterpreting it all
and seeing everything I could have done differently,
and just maybe it wouldn’t have come to this.
Kathy Xue // A GOODBYE TO REMEMBER
Anna Nelson // IM SORRY
Six months after you sent that “Hey”
Suddenly your feelings float away,
Am I not enough,
to make you stay?
I’m sorry
that I talk a lot,
I’m sorry for
the trouble I brought,
I’m sorry
For the pain that I wrought.
Is that why,
you left in such a huff?
And put me out
with such a snuff?
I’m sorry
that it’s you not me,
I know
this wasn’t meant to be.
I’m sorry
That you wasted time,
And I’m sorry
you’re no longer mine.
Jimmy S. // ROMEO’S WILL
Church is the only place
Where I can decide my fate.
But the last time I walked into it,
Everything looked fake.
The coldness Here, the end of our date.
Don’t tell me whom to trust
And what to shield-
I am tired of ironies and will!
I will follow my own path now.
There’s nothing more I can feel
Nor protection I can give.
I am almost home for you…
Mimansa B // THE BULLY
Every day go to school
Recess
Your least favorite time of the day
Go outside
No one around to play with
Look there’s that little boy
He seems cool
Go talk to him
Make friends
It’s not as hard as it seems
At least that’s what they say
But the truth is
Your heart tries to stop you
From making new friends
Because every time you let someone in
You find out what they’re all about
Yet you risk it
Slowly approaching him
Head down
One foot in front of another
Slowly
He smiles
You’re still afraid to lift your head
He offers his friendship
You take it
Then he takes you
To use
Said it was a game
But what game demands
Only your nose to bleed
Only your heart to pump
Only your chest to scream
Said you were ready for a fight
But the moment he comes in
Your hands play hide and seek
Disappearing behind you
Nowhere to be found
Let the fist meet your face
Do it because you endure the pain
Every time he curses your name
He wants the satisfaction
And you want him to suffer
There is no excuse for what he did
But he has felt inferior since he was a kid
Mother?
He does not know what that means Father?
He’s been drowning in bottles
Whose best friend is pain
And him?
You might think his best friend
Is the popular kid on the basketball
team Who wears shades
And shades everyone behind their
back
Right?
Wrong.
His best friend has been his tears
That put him to sleep every night
Instead of lullabies
His fear is not losing a game
But the belt that is held in his father’s hand
He still has proof in the form of scars
Which he gives you to vent out his frustration
To make you feel his insignificance
In this large world.
Benjamin Tibbetts // REMEMBER
Remember.
Remember the verdant needles
Of the proud pines, standing tall
Remember the warm air
Whispering through their full branches
Remember the cloudless azure sky
The sun illuminating the glittering water
That trickles merrily over smooth pebbles
To disappear beyond a tall, mossy rock
Remember.
Now the chill wind shivers through the
Bare bonelike branches
That point like accusing fingers towards a
Sullen sky gray with clouds
The stream is frozen,
a crude and stagnant
Mimicry of its former life
I shuffle through dead, decaying leaves
Blissfully ignorant of the bitter, biting wind
Remembering.
Peter V.R. // NUMBER ONE
The orange chair gathers dust
The long empty chambers bubble quietly
The blue machinery is quiet
emptied four years ago
Silent in mourning
Of the loss of their owner
Still has the blueprints
Of countless contraptions
To capture the blue speedster
And make his town lazy again
Banana peels and nets
The former beginning to smell
The latter unravelling
Thrown around the floor
Like worthless pieces of trash
Around the countless machinery
Slowly rusting
Not being able to do their one job
Without pay
Creating evil plans
Be it getting more of himself
Or disguising himself
He always had something
Not anymore
He was number one
He said it himself
And he always will be
Within our hearts
Owen H. // STILL, THE SEA GRASS GROWS
The sun was the last thing to leave him;
the loss not lost on him, yet.
Not even the beach brought him peace of mind,
one more boundary for the sea to transgress.
The sky? A waste of a canvas!
The beach but a smashed hourglass.
Let it be! said he, watching sea-grass grow.
All things must pass.
Then he fell, parallel to the ocean.
Blink. Enveloped in black.
Waves tear at the spot where his feet were once planted
for that of all things brings him back.
All things must pass.
Lavanya L. // JEALOUS
A flower of Vengeance,
Birthed from the embers of the hearth within
Its hues, which Majestically Mimic flames,
Sway,
As if it were faltering, stuttering,
Trying to find the right words
To say.
When distraught,
it bellows Like a Beast,
Rising from the recess
Of your soul.
It appears like a small,
Unimportant thing
A meager chore
Left undone,
Or perhaps a shoelace
Left untied.
But don’t be fooled
Look past the smoke screen it has conjured,
Keep your eyelids unfurled,
For this,
This is what it desires
It craves
To be concealed,
It yearns
To be unseen
Why you ask?
So it can sink its talons
And grow roots in your mind,
Distorting
Your clarity.
As it sets its opinion in stone,
You surrender
Your supremacy
You let it take the wheel
As it drives straight towards
The brink
Of your sanity.
Amanda Flashner // MISS YOU
September 2007
“Girls I need to talk to you”
“Okay dad”
“Your mom has been diagnosed with a carcinoma ”
“Ooh, cool! Is that like a superpower?”
“No, she is very sick, but will fight”
“Okay, can we go outside now?”
October 2007
My mom told me she would be losing her hair.
She was going to shave it off on Rosh Hashanah,
It means head of the year,
the Jewish new year.
My beautiful mother,
She is fighting for her life.
January 2010
Mom, do you have cancer?”
She looks startled,
I just figured out the secret.
“Yes, honey I do”
“Will you die?”
“I will do everything in my power not to”
November 2011
My mom just had major surgery.
The surgery was a success.
Her lifelong dream was to see giraffes.
For her birthday we are surprising her,
We are going to see giraffes.
August 31, 2012
Today is my 10th birthday
It is the last birthday I will have with her
She got me rollerblades and a card.
It’s a smiling ostrich
November 2012
I get a text
my mom has been admitted into the ICU
They need to operate immediately
She doesn’t know when she will be home.
The surgery is a failure,
She will never eat again.
December 19, 2012
She is still in the ICU
Today is her birthday,
she is turning 56
I write her a letter.
I don’t think she will remember it,
but it starts with
“you are the best person I have ever known,
Please keep fighting, I can’t lose you yet.”
January 2013
My mom is home again.
She is still dying, but maybe there is hope, right?
No.
The doctors sent her home to die.
24/7 nurse care, watching my mom be fed with IVs and tubes,
I don’t care, I can’t lose her.
I won’t.
I cry myself to sleep each night
She is still the light in my life,
she is still fighting,
for the 10-year-old daughters, she will never see graduate,
get a job,
live their lives.
I hope what she has is enough.
I hope she is proud.
February 25, 2013
6:00 pm a call comes.
Nobody will tell me what’s going on.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
She couldn’t have died yet… right?
The last thing I say as I walked out of the room is
“I love you, and I hope I see you again.”
What if I never see her again?
My dad walks in
He can’t be here.
If he’s here it means my world is ending.
“Girls, your mother passed away”
I let out a heart clenching scream that shakes the walls.
She’s gone and there is nothing I can do.
I fall asleep that night with tears running down my cheeks.
I am 10 years old and I just lost my mother
The one person who is supposed to be there for me.
My mother lived,
The first year,
The second year,
The third year,
The fourth year,
The fifth-year she died.
She is the best person I will ever know,
She was strong, beautiful, intelligent, and kind
She taught me how to be better in everything I do,
to love, and hope no matter how difficult.
I love her and always will.
Joshua Lo // MY SONG
Every season, I would try to sing, but
Out of tune,
Out of rhythm,
Out of breath.
I never wanted to learn-
What’s the use?
Out of pitch,
Out of harmony,
Out of tempo.
Day by day,
I would play out onto the open field, where my next meal lay
Innocent like a pig,
Ravaged by a group of humans.
Month by month,
The leaves would fall,
Just like the feathers of my youth.
Year by year,
While the others were learning:
Articulation,
Dynamics,
Melody,
I wouldn’t care.
Spring,
Summer,
Fall,
Winter.
Five years have passed,
All my friends have families-
Around spring,
I see them build their homes,
For their many children-
Why don’t I have a mate?